The Bible focuses on two main themes, man’s relationship with God and man’s relationship with his fellow men.  Psalm 133:1,3 tells us that there is blessing in valuing right relationships.  When we value each other, unity results.  Jesus spoke about valuing in John 13:34 when he gave us the new commandment: to love one another.  In the Book of Romans 12:18 Paul tells us to live at peace with all men using as much effort as possible.  God has reserved a blessing for those who cultivate healthy relationships.  Strength and power is gained that could not be gained on one’s own. 

 To value means to honor, treasure and highly esteem something or more importantly someone.  If we value our relationships, we place a high priority upon them.  We see to it that nothing comes between one another that would divide.  When we value properly, we would do nothing that would destroy or hurt one another.  In other words what occurs between two people is more important than an individual’s opinions or feelings.  What occurs between two people must be guarded and protected. 

 When we fail to protect what is occurring between two people, devaluing results. This can lead to taking each other for granted and the end result is that we try to possess one another.  An interesting observation in connection with this is that what we possess has a tendency to disappear.  For example, when we buy something brand new it grabs and holds our attention.  We honor it.  As it becomes more familiar to us or as we get used to it, then it becomes one of our possessions and receives less honor. This happens within the context of relationships too.  Devaluing steals another’s special-ness.  Then the things that occur between two people begin to reflect dishonor rather than honor.  Some problematic relational problems begin to appear. We usually see inconsiderate behavior, thoughtlessness, rudeness and the expression of self over concern for another.  These actions violate the law of love commanded by Jesus and result in separation.  A common principle that occurs when dishonor is experienced within a relationship is that an opportunity to elevate other things appears.  So we see that careers, hobbies and “work” take precedence over what is occurring within the relationship.  A deadly spiral is now working that will result in the destruction of that relationship and hindrances to the power of God.  This is happening frequently and beginning to exert an influence upon our cultural mores.  Now we see that many hold the belief that time spent on the relationship and its development as unproductive while time spent on careers and tasks are productive. 

 I believe this is a scriptural truth:  close personal relationships take precedence over accomplishment. The greatest impact one can have comes through empowering others rather than one’s own self.  The greatest example of this is Jesus.  He empowered the church (us) at His own expense.  He did this through relationship.  His death and resurrection destroyed the wall of separation between God and us. 

 I would encourage a new vision for our relationships based on the God-kind of love commanded by the Bible.  We can do this by working at helping others achieve even at the expense of our personal goals.  Rid yourself of the mentality that the only activity that really matters is what we do personally.  Jesus said if we learn to be faithful and honor what belongs to another man, then God will be able to give us what belongs to us. Imagine the renewal within marriages and friendships that will occur as we put these principles into practice.  God bless!